How I Was Hooked
by samtana
Summary: Katara as therapist. A surreal account of how I was sucked into obsession over Avatar. Kataang, if you need a pairing. Alternate universe.


I always thought Katara would make a great therapist.

This is from an idea for an ad campaign for the movie I thought up before I knew there was actually going to be a movie. Huh. It involved different characters giving therapy to the director. So I illustrated it. And I avoided Sokka and his strange beard.

This story is strangely autobiographical. I used to watch Avatar but lost it in the middle of the first season. It haunted me. Lately I've been obsessed. I hope you're all okay with the strange style. This makes two strange ones and one normal one. I owe you all a normal fanfic, but it's National Novel Writing Month. I've got the ideas whirling around in my head. They have to wait until December to come out, probably.

I do not own Avatar. In a perverse way, it owns me. Deep. Rated T for fun.

**How I Was Hooked**

"Nice hair loopies," I said to my analyst. "Have I met you before?"

"I don't know," she said. "Maybe in a dream or something?"

"I don't think so," I said, taking my seat. "I'm pretty sure I've seen you somewhere before. Don't you have one of those weird names with a bunch of syllables?"

"It's possible," she said. "What brings you here today?"

I reclined. "I'm really not sure. I was just in front of this door and you were on the other side."

"I see," she said, scribbling. "What sort of door was this?"

"You can see it if you look over there." I pointed.

"What's on the other side?" She asked.

"I'm not sure," I said. "It was pretty dark. A friend just told me to come here so I can have some things worked out for me."

"And I'm supposed to be the one to work things out for you?"

"That's what I'm guessing."

"What do you think you need worked out for you?"

"Oh, the usual," I said. "Stress, my love life, those sorts of things. Look, I really think I know you from somewhere. Like how your eyes match your necklace. That's really familiar."

"Do I remind you of someone else you know?"

"No, I have this feeling I know you from somewhere." I sighed. "Forget it."

"So what's wrong with your love life?" she asked.

"Isn't figuring that out your job?" I said.

"I'm just here to help. I listen to people and help them when they need it."

"I don't think I need help."

"Think harder."

"What, do you want to know my life story or something?" I said. "I still don't even know why I'm here."

"I know you must be in pain right now, but in order to move on you have admit your problems." she said soothingly

I sat up. "Okay, seriously, this is starting to freak me out," I said. "I swear I've seen you before. Your mannerisms are so familiar. I just can't put my finger on it."

"You sound really confused and hurt. Let me call my assistant. He might be able to help us."

The door opened and I stood up.

"Yeah," I said, "this means I'm dreaming."

"No," said the boy with the arrow on his forehead. "It just has a lot to do with spirit magic and stuff."

"Listen, you two, I don't know why I'm dreaming about this kid's television show, but this has gone far enough."

"See why I needed your help?" said Katara

"Listen, I know we're from a kid's television show, but that doesn't mean we can't help you with your problems," said Aang.

"I don't want your help with my problems," I said.

Katara sighed. "Sit down, Sam."

"Wait, how do you know my name?"

"It's on your nametag."

"Oh." I looked down. "I didn't realize I was wearing one." I took my seat.

"So tell us about your love life," said Katara.

"There's not much to tell." I lay back. "I had a break up, got over it, and now I don't have much interest in romance."

"You sound like you're hiding from your feelings," said Katara. "Hiding from yourself."

"You have to confront your fears head-on," said Aang.

"Not having an interest in love doesn't mean I'm afraid of it. I just don't want it."

"Then something's wrong," said Aang, glancing uneasily at Katara. "Not wanting love is unhealthy."

"Is it that you're afraid of being hurt again?"

I sat up again. "You know, you'll have to understand if I'm a little uncomfortable talking about my love life to a couple of kids. How young are you two, anyway? Fourteen and twelve?"

"Fifteen and thirteen," said Aang.

"The show's over now," said Katara. "It's been a year."

"Who cares?" I said. "You're both babies. How can you help me with love at all? What can you possibly tell me about love that's so great?"

"But love is great," said Aang, blushing. He picked up Katara's hand. "It really is."

"You're doing a great job of convincing me," I said.

"Love is like hope," said Katara, smiling at Aang. "You have to hold on to it with your own inner strength."

"You are fifteen," I said. "You don't know anything about love."

Katara leaned over and began kissing Aang. I closed my eyes and stood up.

"I think I'll be going now," I said.

"Ew, get out of here, you pervert!" screamed Katara. Aang knocked the wind out of me as he shoved me out the door.

"Who was that, anyway?" asked Aang.

"I don't know," she said. "Some pervert."

"What are we doing in this strange room?"

"I have no idea."

_*I'm sorry I have to be so weird when I tell stories. In my defense, I'm pretty weird in real life, too. So it's all justified.*_


End file.
